And The Merry Go Round Broke Down - Volume 11

I remember back when I was a little Jeremy and I was playing around on my Commodore 64 devising plot after plot to take over the world. As far as computing went, those things were a real powerhouse for the early 80’s and even the more expensive brands like the Apple II or the Atari 800 weren’t any more powerful. 64k of RAM was just massive at the time, especially considering that most of us had stepped up from either an Atari 400 or a Vic-20 which boasted a whopping 24k, but the important thing about the C64 was it had come with a strange device called a “modem” which at a blazing fast 1200 baud would get you onto various bulletin boards {BBS} or the internet {after my evil had taught me how to hack passwords to the University of New Hampshire servers} and thus the world was opened up to me. Well kinda anyway.

You see back then there was no World Wide Web, or Instant Messenger. Of course the monstrous 64k wasn’t going to handle those types of things, and the CGA graphics {usually through a television} wasn’t going to show you pretty pictures either. There was plenty of things to do, though if you were so inspired. There was Usenet {think of a long chain of those inane comments under everyone’s pictures on Facebook minus the picture, or the ego stroking}, IRC {Internet Relay Chat}, E-mail {minus the attachments and pictures} and yes there were even online games. Of course they weren’t exactly what you have now either, because your most sophisticated online games were what we had called MUDs {Multiple User Dungeons} which were really nothing more than an elaborate cyber dork version of Dungeons & Dragons. They were hugely popular though.

Now of course using a computer for games was never part of my intentions. I tried various MUDs like LORD {Legend of the Red Dragon} and QUEST, but I never could get into them for more than an hour. Reading text lines and choosing Yes, No, Left, Right just didn’t do it for me. I consider this a good thing because I was able to dedicate my time to the great evil I am still working at today. Let’s face it, we’re talking about 10 years before ICQ {pronounced I Seek You} came along to make Instant Messenger a staple of all computers, or DOOM came along to make people think of PCs as a big expensive game box. I was concentrating on programming and even when these things came along I usually uninstalled them pretty quick too. I never liked DOOM, and as most people know I am NOT a messenger person. This was until a game finally did come along that I found myself hooked on and it was quite frankly because it was a stupid game by game standards. Of course billions of people adored it, but it was the first and pretty much only game I adored until recently, and that would be SIM City.

Yes, SIM City was a game that could really bring out the Dork and the OCD in me. Playing God over a little town and making it into a perfect city, with flowing roads, nuke plants, waterfalls, the right amount of this building and that building. I was finally in my element with a game, and more over I could use my powers of evil to hack into it and make it run more efficiently for me. Of course the time came along finally when I had gone on about 5 days of no sleep trying to keep the residents of my imaginary city happy, I had gotten no progress on applications I was trying to program, I had read none of the articles from one of my militia groups in Usenet, I hadn’t practiced my Russian and all of the other things that a little hacker {now on an Amiga 2000} trying to take over the world should have been, and I quit it cold turkey. Ok realistically I went through a divorce and lost my computer to the ex wife, but you know what I mean. I have often tried to get back into SIM City but the real world {kids, job, dates, etc etc} spoil the obsession for me that I once had. Until recently I must again point out.

This is where my cyber-parents come into the equation, as I had recently found myself back on Facebook to get my mind off of losing my girlfriend at the time, and MamaCathy told me about Frontierville. Now let me tell you, it was like getting my old friend SIM City back in a bit more of a sociable format. It limits me to the amount of things I can do {based on energy, money etc} and is a great little diversion when I get a case of the screw its sitting at my keyboard, while at the same time keeping me somewhat in touch with friends and family. Scary isn’t it?

What really impresses me about the game Frontierville though is how everyone does thier slice of the cyber west differently. I actually take a moment to enjoy looking at everyone else's little town and all of them are unique and attractive in thier own way. More over I get a bit of an inside view of how my friends think by looking at thier little villiages. I have one friend that spends more time making the place look beautiful as opposed to functional. Buying up flower beds and statues with hardly any crops or animals. I have another that has no crops and focusses on trees and animals to make up the bulk of thier economy. Then I have a few who have a form of well managed chaos which since I have known them for ever, I can say it fits them perfectly. If you haven't seen mine yet, it is an OCD paradise, based on utilitarianism and hardly any asthetic beauty. It's all good however you see it.

Overall this strange game review mixed up in some past brain soup does have a bit of a point to it. I'm rather happy that I have gotten to a point in my life where I can play an online game that has a moderate social aspect to it, without going totally over the deep end. My friends that are addicted to online games rarely come up for air, and then people like me who rail against them rarely get over ourselves. Now that I have found some sort of balance, I only need to keep the goals simple. I usually add every app on facebook just so my friends can get whatever benefit they can draw from it, and then never pay it a second thought, or a second glance. I'm just happy that I don't have to get consumed in it all, and try to be the Uber Jeremy that doesn't even exist. I'm better off being the predictible Jeremy that everyone has come to expect. Of course I can't make any promises if they come up with some sort of game which involves running a Victoria's Secret or something really important ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Rants & Political Rage {For Those That Like His Political Rantings} Mental Imagry & Random Perversion {Adult Stories .. Assume they are rated X} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog} Jeremy Crow on Twitter {For The Easily Amused} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy Want More Free Art? ...Visit the new angelis deZines on the web at jeremycrow4life.com/angelisdezines All writings Copyright © 2009 & Beyond The Crows Nest

Living Life in the Background - Volume 1

I wonder often what I am thinking when I start on an adventure to do something nice for someone. I think I am a bit of an enlightened person, albeit not enlightened enough to vote for Democrats or anything like that, but I like to find myself beyond the bullshit theories of tolerance and more into the zone of acceptance. Keeping in mind that I hit the gym everyday because it is one of the few things in this world that makes me feel good about myself it is still a very fragile system of attaboys that rarely get fulfilled in my life. Sure I look great especially for a forty year old man {and despite the gray hair and wrinkles, but the alternative to getting old really sucks} and I have many karma points going for me, there is always an aweshit around the corner waiting to take all of my stored attaboys. Today was one of those days, and I feel horrible about what happened, and I shouldn't.

Needless to say it is my off day {Wednesdays I don't lift weights, thus an “off day”} but I still go into the gym so that I can help out my friend in the wheelchair {Multiple Sclerosis} which is my karma cross that I carry. This is NOT an easy endeavor when you are working out with someone in a wheelchair because quite frankly, on most days you are the only person in the gym building good karma and the rest of the people are in there to test the boundaries of life expectancy. Usually when I leave what I am doing to go help him, there is always someone ready to jump onto whatever machine or weight I was using and are not going to let me work back in. I got over this a while ago and chalked it up to “people are assholes” and got on with my life. It's unfortunately turned my hour long workouts into two hour workouts, but I don't have much of an active social life anyway. Today that shouldn't have been a problem as I wasn't using any weights. It gives me a chance to check out the girls between his sets, and that's a cool thing.

Unfortunately today was a new level of problems which completely took me by surprise and tested my very boundaries of sanity, and more over tested my temper which is not good in a testosterone filled environment. I blame my own selfishness too, so don't get me wrong on that, but there was another person in the gym today that was all gung ho to help out, and yes the selfish side of me that hasn't realistically had a peaceful workout in forever was really happy about this. Especially keeping in mind that I have a bad spine, and Shane {a great guy and all} is starting to get more demanding in asking for assistance into various machines as opposed to just doing exercised from within his wheelchair. He also weighs about 250 lbs, all dead weight, and I have had to basically tell him {to a heavy hit on my conscience last week} that I am not comfortable with the burden it puts on my own health lifting him in and out of equipment. Enter my thoughts that this new guy would probably help not only my back but my conscience here.

I should have seen it coming too, because this person was so desperate to help out that not only would he be fool hearty, but possibly a bit mentally unstable and I am starting to think it was a LOT of both, but the second I turned my back on the two of them he had taken Shane off to the quadriceps machine and was helping him into it. Very poorly at that, and by the time I had rushed across the gym {from talking to one of the women there I actually get along with, I should have known} Shane was crumpled up on the floor crying, and refusing to get out of the fetal position or let anyone touch him. This idiot that was all gung ho to help him out was completely in the way and of no help getting him back into his chair {and his attitude at this point was that Shane had to help himself} and to make a long story short, Shane totally gave up and offered no help of his own as I lugged him from flat on the floor into his wheelchair. The only thing I can actually say is that somehow I didn't hurt my back which is an absolute miracle, but I did have to spend a half hour in the locker room with him crying, and telling the idiot to back off and get away.

I felt completely horrible about all of this and find myself in a position of actually being a bit angry too. I had told Shane that he HAS TO tell people to back off, and he basically told me that he can't do that. I {very patiently thank you very much} explained to him that I can't protect him from idiots and when he is being pushed out of his zone of comfort he has to say something, period! He assured me that he never would do that, and I could feel myself nearing rage. I firmly, but patiently explained to him that if he ever ends up on the floor like that again because he won't say no to someone or tell someone to back off then I am going to leave him there. Before you go there, yes it KILLED me to have to say this to him, but I don't deserve to be in a wheelchair next to him because of my own good deeds either, and even as I type this I feel like a heel. This is the problem with the whole “guilt culture” that I have grown up in, but I also have had the ability to rationalize risk/reward scenarios over the years as I have tried to overcome the “mentally beaten down syndrome” that my family has placed on me.

They say that after 2000 attaboys you get a pat on the back, but every aweshit completely wipes out all attaboys. You will probably never get that pat on the back and if you are living your life to get it, then you might as well just become one of those people that jumps in on the weight machines and won't share them when you walk off to help someone. That's how you will be looked at anyway at the very first aweshit, only you will be a hell of a lot more bitter thinking about all those attaboys you lost between aweshits. ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Rants & Political Rage {For Those That Like His Political Rantings} Mental Imagry & Random Perversion {Adult Stories .. Assume they are rated X} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog} Jeremy Crow on Twitter {For The Easily Amused} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy Want More Free Art? ...Visit the new angelis deZines on the web at jeremycrow4life.com/angelisdezines All writings Copyright © 2009 & Beyond The Crows Nest

The Never Ending Battle of Megalopolis - Volume 1

It was a warmish to muggy night on the streets of Megalopolis, with the fear of rain just over the horizon. This can be a rather perplexing situation for our brave young {zip it!} super villain turned super hero, as he patrols the streets in the ever lasting struggle to keep watch over the fair maidens of this great city. Of course it is after all still summer, so the fair maidens are for the most part showing their gratitude for the Caped Pervader with their short skirts and short shorts all over the place, but the weather as it is tends to bring the hem lines down a bit. On this trip into the headquarters of the diabolical Pink Mafia {PMHQ} there requires a bit more imagination to browse the landscape but as we all know boys and girls the Superdaddyman is never lacking for imagination. Especially as it pertains to the fair maidens that he watches over with his very life!

Of course it has been a lot easier lately, since summer is almost halfway over. When the bastion of all that is good in this world cruises on over to the super secret training facility {Planet Fitness} every morning, there appears to be a much higher ratio of fair maidens to unfortunate shmucks who could only wish they are the Superdaddyman, and this gets the Superdaddymotor recharged a bit earlier than usual in the day. This of course is a common phenomenon, as the fair maidens have had a month to determine that they are gaining a few as they lay at the beach, and the shmucks have decided that beer and barbeque interfere with their ability to get in a good workout. This doesn't matter much to our favorite young {sheesh, get your own blog if you want to criticize!} super hero, as his life removal surgery was a complete success years ago, and he really has nothing better to do that go to the super secret training facility and lift a weight or two while utilizing the mirrors to avoid being caught spandex gazing. Life is good if you accept what you have!

Of course this diversion aside this is about the long and arduous trek to the PMHQ {with another side trip into the scenery because that is what the Superdaddyman does} which can usually be a tedious one. Most of the common folk driving their non super vehicles and forming that long line between the Superdaddyman and the PMHQ seem to have no respect for those that are trying to keep an eye on the fair maidens. If it weren't for the keen reflexes that only a super villain turned super hero possesses, the Superdaddyman could find himself permanently attached to various automobiles tapping their brakes for no apparent reason. This doesn't even take into effect those that seem to just wander out into traffic, because as we all know, pedestrian laws will always protect you from a couple of tons of rolling steel. The Superdaddyman, despite his good nature, amazing temperament, and shockingly good reflexes finds it necessary to display his favorite finger at many of these obstacles preventing him from scoping out the fair maidens properly or get to PMHQ in a timely fashion. He is after all human albeit super at that.

As we find the Caped Pervader rolling up to the PMHQ there appears to be another treat in what would usually be a rather mundane day. The PMHQ elite {secretaries} are holding a special dinner and are beginning to file out of the headquarters. Most of them wearing their cute little business skirts {God does the Superdaddyman love those} smiling and waving to the Superdaddyman {at this point disguised as that simpering weenie Jeremy Crow} as he puffs on the only really bad habit he has left. Even in his disguise you can see how the pure animal pheromones of our brave young {damnit! Keep it to yourself k?} hero are overpowering to them. Many of them came scurrying over to make sure that Jeremy Crow was going to the PMHQ picnic in a couple of weeks. The poor confused little things tend to be taken in by the evil disguises of the evils's and even go as far as to find them “cute” or so they say in a veiled attempt to get closer to the real object of most fair maiden's desires. Of course the Superdaddyman had had absolutely no intention of going to this years PMHQ getaway, as it is being held in a place he would rather shoot acid out his butt than be seen at, so he replies, “Absolutely, wouldn't miss it for the world!”

With all of the hum drum of getting from the Casi Di Evils's to the PMHQ over with, we find our brave young {don't make me smack you!} super hero walking into the diabolical fortress for his true work of taking on the forces of evil in the name of good. It's a Monday which means that the place is completely trashed in an effort to show the Superdaddyman just how much they missed him while he was gone for a few days, and trust me he knows every time he walks in that door. His ability to speak several languages keeps him out of trouble during times like these as he can switch is innuendos and insults based on who his audience happens to be at the time. The good news in all of this is that the downpour managed to just barely hold itself off until he managed to get in the door, which would have interfered horribly with the drive into the PMHQ. Aside from the fact that the tourists drive a lot worse, the fair maidens tend to hide from the raindrops and that would have been no way to start the week, now would it? Time for the Superdaddyman to get some revenge and disguise it as work ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Rants & Political Rage {For Those That Like His Political Rantings} Mental Imagry & Random Perversion {Adult Stories .. Assume they are rated X} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog} Jeremy Crow on Twitter {For The Easily Amused} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy Want More Free Art? ...Visit the new angelis deZines on the web at jeremycrow4life.com/angelisdezines All writings Copyright © 2009 & Beyond The Crows Nest

Things You Learn From Yourself - Volume 1

This tale spans almost forty and a half years, if the truth be told but I think we will simply pick apart some of the more recent parts of this “life experiment” known as Jeremy Crow. If we stretch back about a month and a half we come upon the point in my life when I learned {for Father's Day none the less} that my third ex-wife is going to be a father. Yeah that's a long story and I think I covered that enough, but I just wanted to make sport of the fact that those types of things are normal and easy to deal with by my standards. You see on March 5, 1970 the doctor smacked me on the ass, and it all became a fascinating journey from there. Of course there are quite a few reasons I am as messed up as I am, and they all start with me.

Let's just start on the last 10 days and see how it goes. I went out on a date, because I was wondering how an old flame was doing, and BOOM it turned into obsession all over again. Seriously but why the hell does life have to be like that? Oh yeah, it has to do with the part of my brain that doesn't work right, and thus allows me to attract {and worse yet be attracted to} women like this. My last girlfriend {who we will discus in a few minutes because what is a good blog without bullshit drama} did this to me too, as she completely overwhelmed me with hearts and love and flowers, downright demanding commitments of “forever and always” from day one. Fortunately for me I forced her to slow the hell down partly because I wasn't in a position to promise anyone the world, and I wasn't going to put my kids through the usual Jeremy Crow infatuation process, but mostly because I have known this woman long enough to know that she never means it. Let me tell you, I am sick of this crap, and perfectly happy to be alone.

This of course filtered into a phone call I got from EX2 {the mother of my kids} on Wednesday asking in that sad voice if she could just come down and see the kids on Saturday. When you have been playing that game as long as I have you know that that sad voice means that she left her boyfriend {and usually hasn't figured out if the guy she left him for is keen on kids yet} and I wasn't in the mood. She had after all just started becoming a part of the kids lives again and it was about time for her to have a melt down, but as always it takes me by surprise. She never called back, so I assumed that she was just going to vanish for a while again, but she did finally get a hold of my grandmother and explained the whole story to her. To make a long story short, she landed herself in a mental hospital, and despite the small level of chaos that is might have created with the kids, I hope to hell that she is actively working on herself while she is in there. She's about a decade late getting herself the help she needs and all I can do is wish her the best of luck, but of course life with an ex-wife that has Borderline Personality Disorder is the simple expression “Trust But ALWAYS Verify.”

Now of course her whole deal is that our oldest daughter {affectionately known as Lazius Boycrazius in the blogs, who is hers by birth and mine by adoption} drove her over the edge with her hatred of her mother. Whatever yanno? Like most of the women I have managed to attract in my life they lay blameless in everything that they do, but here is the double edged sword in the whole thing, as I finally had some quiet time alone with the eldest to catch up on a lot of these things. It is the very reason I just stated that the two of them have been at war. The oldest offered the olive branch of mending the fences in her mother would just admit that her issues are her issues, and take responsibility for her actions of the past. Guilty to the end her mother continued the stories of how an entire life of misery is laid at the feet of everyone but her, and my daughter {despite what the people who take sides in all of this will tell you} became an adult responsible for her own life, by disowning her mother for her own sanity. I can't say that I am happy about this, but I am proud of her for charting her own course, and dealing with it. Of course I see little growth at this point as even the trip to the Oogie Boogie ward to get help is predicated on the blame of someone else, but as I said perhaps she will finally hear what she needs to hear and have the willingness to listen.

Phase two of all this was where I was trying to get some personal time in with my kids who are a bit anxious because their mother who had stormed back into their lives again was beginning what looked like to them, the let down and exit that she usually performs after a few weeks. This was complicated {mostly because I am high strung and have NO maternal instincts} by “the date” that was freaking out on her end because I was too involved to pay attention to her. This was easily solved by turning my cell phone off, and of course to demonstrate my lousy taste in women when I turned the cell phone back on there was a long strung out message from my last girlfriend waiting for me. Oh Lord of Joy and Great Tidings how ever do you look so fondly upon me!

Now of course she had started a long drawn out decline in our relationship. It started with the snide comments to try and bring me down a notch. This of course was after she had given up on trying to convince me that we were forever and day, but had I not been who I am I probably would have noticed the game a lot sooner. When it finally got to the point where she wasn't returning phone calls and was ignoring me to talk to everyone else I kinda knew it was time for us to talk. I asked her to free up some time to talk to me. She said she would and then ignored me for a week. Again I had known her for quite some time and knew this was that time where she was getting to know her new boyfriend and hoping that I would get sick of it and call her up and end it. She then could walk away feeling good about herself. This is fine, I can deal with this because as I said before, I am the idiot that fell for this again, so I finally did it, and it was over. Enough said right?

Her message of course was to reiterate that she wasn't cheating on me or whatever and of course to tell me about how I was too set in my ways. She couldn't fathom waiting around for me to change. I knew that this was the reason, she was going to tell me I just got sick of waiting around for her to do it. One of her worst problems is that she makes a lot of enemies so I had a couple of people telling me that she was working on her new boyfriend and I should just give up on her during her silence, but I had wanted her to just for once end it herself. A leopard doesn't change it's spots of course, and again I had to just end it, before I looked too foolish. That was until I got that text diatribe, which amounted to little more than overkill. Until that point I was just fine with the fact that she makes her own karma just like my ex-wife does, and I was lucky that I didn't have to be a witness to it all. Train wrecks are a hell of a lot more fun to watch when you don't love the train. Of course I beat her at her own game with this one, because again she told me that she would bring all my stuff back, expecting me to just say “no no, you keep it all” and that last dagger made me just say, “Yanno? I want all my stuff back,” which most likely will create complete silence between us now. I can't stay predictable forever or I won't grow as a human being.

Needless to say as I sit here writing this I do feel a lot better about most of this crap. I'm settling back into that shell to which I usually sit, where I am perfectly happy to be alone. I seriously can't stress enough how men obsess about being alone and if you can break that cycle then you are home free. The hardest part of all of it is to remember to not leave that state unless you are damn sure that it is worth it to do so. Desperation makes a horrible deodorant, and it is the easiest way to drive everyone away from you, and if there is one thing I am an expert on, it's driving everyone away from me ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Rants & Political Rage {For Those That Like His Political Rantings} Mental Imagry & Random Perversion {Adult Stories .. Assume they are rated X} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog} Jeremy Crow on Twitter {For The Easily Amused} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy Want More Free Art? ...Visit the new angelis deZines on the web at jeremycrow4life.com/angelisdezines All writings Copyright © 2009 & Beyond The Crows Nest

Let's Talk About Health Baby - Volume 7

Well misery and anger has some advantages believe it or not. I may not like the last month of my life in general, but a general mindset change towards viscous did help me out in some of my personal goals. I have a horrible habit of stewing in my own juices, as that part of the serenity prayer {to accept the things I cannot change} has never been a strong suit. I then am able to throw myself into things with a ferocity that is usually reserved for things that are actually important. This translated well into my gym activities. I crossed some hurdles I had been having some serious problems with lately, some good some bad, but I still deserve a kudos on some of them.

Like a lot of people {not all as I know many are the exact opposite} I tend to not eat much when I am miserable. The misery sucks but the end results sometimes help me get through the misery as strange as it sounds. I've gone beyond my normal six pack when I do a little effort towards working on a twelve pack. My waist which around my birthday was snug in a size thirty two jeans are now watching a healthy amount of breathing room in the thirties I bought over the last month. Most of this was in those stupid back boobs that most men past the age of thirty start harvesting for the rest of their lives. It was an unforeseen benefit but I will take what I can get. I am starting to see some serious definition in my sterata {the muscles around your ribs} which is a nice surprise since I have never seen any before. I must have been pretty bad.

I also found myself finally getting past that bench press plateau I had been sitting on for several months. Worse yet I had seen my strength slowly start to decrease and was forced to actually raise my reps and sets to compensate for what a weakling I was becoming. Sunday in particular I was so amazingly furious that I broke through my usual weights and increased my press by forty pounds. Thanks to poor genetics I have never had a particularly nice chest and had to make up for it over the years with a decent set of lats {the wings on your back basically} which also increased it's abilities dramatically on Saturday. I finally hit the highest weights that the machines in my gym can go to in those regards, and that is with a high rep cycle. My bird legs will hopefully come out of this better for the experience but I don't think Oedipal misery will get that done.

The drawbacks of course are the usual {and this can go back to the lessons I learned during the divorce to my second wife} and that would be growing joint pain due to the lack of fatty acids and body fat in general in my system. My weight has dropped to a rather lean one hundred and sixty nine pounds which is twenty pounds shy of where I was back in May. I may hate me a lot of days but when that scale dropped down there the day before yesterday I not only saw a need to change something physically but mentally as well. On the physical side I eliminated aerobics {treadmill} for this week at least, and added a few more dietary supplements {MRPs} into my day. On the mental side I finally sent a text message to the person that was assisting me in this agony and said my goodbyes and this was enough.

With clean diet and a regiment of human interaction I should be able to drag my ass out of this within a week or so. I've said it enough in the past but sitting in your own shit might be warm and comfortable, but you can't ignore how much it stinks forever. I scheduled a road trip with a bunch of friends this Saturday night and at the very least they will force me to eat a lot of fatty foods, and gawk at the skirts somewhere. It's not a perfect plan but for the most part it is what any old psychiatrist would call “normal behavior” ;8o)

Other Crap This Weirdo Publishes... The Crow's Nest {The Homepage of Jeremy Crow} Mental Notes & Random Musings {Daily Blog} Mental Rants & Political Rage {For Those That Like His Political Rantings} Mental Imagry & Random Perversion {Adult Stories .. Assume they are rated X} Itching For Coffee {Community Blog} Jeremy Crow on Twitter {For The Easily Amused} Blogaholics Anonymous {E-Mail Blogging Group} Nothing that was printed here was intended to offend anyone, and if it did, screw ya, you begged for it. If you believe that there are some measures that can be taken to change me, then please feel free to pray for me, and while you are at it yourself, because you read this far, and if you hated every minute of it, then you are an idiot, not me, or the other people who like what I have to say! .. Jeremy Want More Free Art? ...Visit the new angelis deZines on the web at jeremycrow4life.com/angelisdezines All writings Copyright © 2009 & Beyond The Crows Nest